Camp Buc Week 1: everyone is a burning sun

It was said once that Philosophy begins and ends in awe and wonder...

Every time I drive up to the lake and mountains of Camp Buc, I get this feeling of awe and wonder of stark beauty. This feeling can be easily forgotten during a stressful week with those campers that drive you to your breaking point. However, somehow when Friday rolls around, you just can't stop the tears of pure joy from a life-changing week.

My first week of camp: June 1-6th was easily the most challenging week I have ever had as a camp counselor. I had lost my voice completely from yelling at my 12-14 year old kids all week. One in particular (to go by "x" in this journal to protect his identity) was the source of all of the stress. From day 1 I vowed he would be too much to handle and thought about trying to send him home. What I learned was that X had Aspergers Syndrome, a milder form of Autism. This means he is a very bright kid, yet he struggles with his attention span and with social interaction. These symptoms were only made worse by his 2 cousins, my other 2 campers, who constantly picked fights with him and vocalized their dislike. This worked its way out in the worst possible way. I was with X constantly..."don't hit people with sticks!" "stop shining your flashlight in people's eyes!" "stop fighting!" I hit rock bottom Thursday night after returning from a rafting trip and having to settle my boys down. I needed a day long break...

How did I survive? Spending all this time with X made me realize that he was a good kid with a lot of talent and creativity. Tuesday, while at a waterfall near our camp, I sat and watched him build an entire city out of mud, sticks, and rocks. He told me that people tell him that he should be an artchitect someday. Later that day he asked me for a pencil because he is writing a book! I have no idea what it is about, yet this was such an amazing venture for a 13 year old. Wednesday night after having to sit with him at campfire to keep him toned down I watched him help carry a hurt friend all the way up to the dining hall for snack time. That day he had also asked if he could borrow my Bible. I found out later that he had actually been reading a few random pages. Another moment was when I accidentaly watched him writing a "warm fuzzy" to a girl (warm fuzzies are nice notes we leave for each other, campers and counselors alike, throughout the week). He complemented her in the nicest way possible. Thursday night while we had our final nightly devotion on the dock with our family group, I broke down in tears. I asked if someone wanted to pray and he volunteered, to my great suprise. What followed was probably the most beautiful prayer I have ever heard. I was so blown away I don't remember much beyond something about asking God to light up the hearts of people of the world like the stars we were looking up at.

Awe. Wonder.

When camp was finished and the kids were gone, I looked in my warm fuzzy bag to find a note from X. The note said "I hope you don't think I am mean, I am just aggrivated sometimes." As weird as this sounded, I found this to be the most meaningful and revealing thing he could have said to me. Right then I realized what it must be like to be X. He constantly struggles with his Aspergers Syndrome and can hardly express this to people. When people meet him they assume he is a bad kid that needs constant punishment and reform. His peers can't accept him because they immediately label him as rude and immature. For X, however, he wants nothing more than what every other kid wants: love and acceptance. This is what all kids want and need at all times. This is ultimately the goal of Christian camp.

X taught me how all of the creativity and talent kids possess must never go wasted. He taught me how much some kids need love and acceptance.

everyone is a burning sun.